Too tired to be strong
Can I get someone to be my strength?
Dammed enough tears,
Chastised the shriveled figure
A saltwater pool of ache
Sometimes I won't blame myself
Taint another soul
And anoint me the angel
White as the clouds I lay my dreams on
Hard words wreck the mind
Another lie, another love to caress
And maybe there'll be bandages
Sometimes I wish for vulnerability
Gray shades the smile lines in my frown
Save another tomorrow for today
Erase last night's REM nightmare
A boy in a corner carrying his life
On the edge of a thread
And threading me into his misery
Not mine to take
Sometimes I don't want the whole truth
Laugh at the fantasy of complete positivity
Cry at the thought of honesty
Wait, whose honesty? These eyes read
Between the lies sifting through the
Electronic system their thoughts process in
I know, I know, I know their truth
Ignorance instead calms my soul
Reaffirms my heart her her undying duty
Die another tomorrow, live double today
Weep some kind of yesterday,
And keep history forever ingrained in that
Crevice in the mind you'll never access,
But absolutely must.
Sometimes I want care,
Helpless little girl I never was
I was too busy hammering the steel
Into my chest's shining armor
What's that? I wear the chain metal?
Do you think me the knight?
You'd think with pretty eyes
And soulless mind I'd be the man,
A gallantry of idiocracy,
Don't insult the egotistic complex
You believe me to possess
My reputation's taught you well, no less
Sometimes I want understanding
The inner meaning I conceal in an
Aquamarine façade I colored
One hazy summer afternoon
Blindness afflicts your eyes, your mind
Unable to penetrate the gold in my heart
The gems I hide, reveal only to the deserving,
The ones who swim close to the border
Between appearance and reality
Sometimes I want to be.
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